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Jacob Aaron Essary March 30, 2009 - April 10, 2009

Click on the Picture to See the Online Obituary and Sign the Guestbook

Jacob Aaron Essary, infant son of Terry Joe and Susan Diane (Maloney) Essary, passed away April 10, 2009. Jacob was born March 30, 2009 in Sherman, Texas. In addition to his parents, Jacob is also survived by his sister, Anna Cross; brother, Matthew Essary; grandmother, Marcella Essary of Goliad, Texas; grandparents, Kenneth and Louise Maloney of Bonham, Texas; great-grandmother, Eula Mae Lewis of Plano, Texas. He was preceded in death by his grandfather, Jodie Essary. Graveside services will be held at 3:30 p.m., Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at Ridgeview Memorial Park, Allen, Texas with Brother Lyn Holly officiating.

Jacob went home to be with the Lord, Friday 4/10/09 @ about 2:35pm. We got a call from his nurse, just before we would have eaten lunch, saying that he was deteriorating fast. So, we rushed back to the hospital and were able to get there in time to hold him while he passed on to Heaven. We both got to hold him before he passed on. In fact, we are pretty certain that I was the one holding him when he took his last breath in this world. We got to hear him cry a couple of times, too. We believe that God knew we could never have made the decision to remove him from treatments and the respirator. So, He made the decision for us, by allowing Jacob's decline to the point that it was obvious that he would not be able to recover. As soon as they started removing the tubes and lines so that we could hold him, we felt an immediate peace settle over us. It's extremely painful to lose him, but at the same time, we know that he is no longer suffering and is in a much better place. Not only was Jesus waiting for him, but also his grandfather and great grandparents, aunts and uncles and even some cousins, including one who passed on as a baby.

Please remember Jacob with joy for the time that we were able to have him with us. One of our favorite quotes at a time like this comes from "Little House on the Prairie." I can even imagine little Jacob sitting up above and saying this, "Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I'll remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all."

We are back home. I will be back at work on Wednesday.

His Peace to You All,
Terry & Susan

Just visited with yet another doctor. After several days of them saying that he is stable, this doctor says that he has been getting worse and worse everyday. They are again encouraging that we stop treatment. They say that all his organs are starting to fail. We need some very intense prayer for his breathing, his organs, and just general healing.

Don't forget: Jacob is at Medical City Children's Hospital Dallas - 7777 Forest LN, Dallas, TX 75230 - Care Tower A - North Tower - 4th Floor - NICU

We are at the Homestead Villages - 12121 Coit RD, Dallas, TX - Room 216

Little Jacob is still stable. They have his oxygen levels stabilized, but he is easily upset. When he gets upset, his oxygen levels drop. Otherwise, everything is still the same. Please pray for him to start breathing more easily on his own and for the blood vessels in his lungs to open up and relieve the pulmonary hypertension that has been keeping him from getting those oxygen levels up without the respirator and the 100% oxygen concentration.

Don't forget: Jacob is at Medical City Children's Hospital Dallas - 7777 Forest LN, Dallas, TX 75230 - Care Tower A - North Tower - 4th Floor - NICU

We are at the Homestead Villages - 12121 Coit RD, Dallas, TX - Room 216

Encouraging Update

Just back from visiting with Jacob and his nurse of the night. More encouraging news. Of course, he is still a very sick little boy, but every piece of good news is encouraging. They have cut his NO (nitric oxide) from 20ppm to 10ppm. And, they have increased his milk feedings from 5cc to 15cc every 3 hours. His oxygen levels are still a little low, but nearly as low as previously. And, they are holding at these levels with 1/2 the NO, which they told us was what was helping to open up his blood vessels in his lungs to increase his blood flow and oxygen levels.

Please continue to pray for little Jacob's oxygen levels, and that he continues to improve daily.

Don't forget: Jacob is at Medical City Children's Hospital Dallas - 7777 Forest LN, Dallas, TX 75230 - Care Tower A - North Tower - 4th Floor - NICU

We are at the Homestead Villages - 12121 Coit RD, Dallas, TX - Room 216

Prayer for . . . . .

Please pray for Jacob's oxygen levels to rise and stay up. But, also please pray for his doctors. Yesterday they said that with a couple more days like yesterday, they would have a good chance to save him. Well, today has been just like yesterday, with one improvement. His lung is no longer bleeding. But, the doctor was talking to the nurse while Susan was in the room and giving the impression that he was upset that we had not already terminated treatment and allowed Jacob to pass on. Susan think he didn't know she was in the room. But, I have always believed that as long as there is life left in a person, there is still hope. If we decided to stop treaatment while he is still living, I would feel that I had killed Jacob. Besides, faith in Christ tells us that there is always hope. So, to give up now, is to deny God's power.

Again, just please pray that Jacob's oxygen levels rise and remain high. And, pray for the doctor's to see the light and treat him as aggressively as they possibly can.

In His Service,
Terry

Monday afternoon 4/6/2009

Not to raise any false hopes, but Jacob is stabilized. They have now removed him from the Dopamine (which I was told was the most powerful "Code" drug they had him on), and lowered his nitrous oxide from 20 to 12 ppm. Of course, he is still very critical and fragile.

I am waiting in the NICU waiting room elevator lobby, for Susan to get finished pumping, come back out and update further. They are still saying that it is very shaky, at best.

Earlier this morning, the Children's minister, Nancy Crawford, from our old church dropped by and performed a baby dedication with us in the waiting room.

Our wonderful Pastor, Lyn Holly, was up and got to go back to pray over Jacob. While he, Susan and Teresa (Susan's sister) were back there, they all got excellent pictures of him "dressed up" in a blanket and cap. That is the picture I added above. It is one of the most precious pictures I have seen.

Sunday Night/Monday Morning 4/6/09

The following is exactly what went out to the email group very early this morning. With one exception: I neglected to mention that today is Susan's birthday. What a way to spend a birthday. But, as one our counselors up here pointed out: We can mourn or we can celebrate life. Even if we were to lose Jacob today, it could someday become a day of celebration. But, in the meantime, it would be a day of tremendous grieving.

Original mailing:
Earlier this morning, around 1am, we got a call from the NICU. It
seems that the bleeding they had noticed earlier was more significant
than they thought. Apparently, he was bleeding in his lungs. And, now
that blood has clotted and is blocking some airways. That increased
the pressure in his right lung, to the point that it caused a hole in
that lung. The long story made short is: Jacob has taken a turn for
the worse. They have had to insert a drainage tube through the right
side of his chest wall to release the air leaking from the rupture in
his lung. They are saying that they don't know if he will survive
this, or the body's attempts to clean up those blood clots. For now,
we are here for the rest of this week.

We are BEGGING for your prayers for healing, for strength, for
understanding, for wisdom to do what needs to be done. They have asked
us to choose between continuing the most aggressive treatment
possible, and simply terminating all treatment. We don't really think
either of us can make that call. We hate to see him suffer, but don't
believe we could live with the "what ifs." We have talked and have
decided that we will continue aggressive treatment for this week and
see what happens. We sort of got the impression that the doctors and
nurses would prefer to stop treatment, even though they say that they
will not think differently about us no matter which option we choose.

In His Hands,
Terry & Susan

--
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember,Moses started out
as a basket case.

We thank you all for your prayers, concern and caring. They told us that Jacob's condition would probably go up and down for awhile. And, though he is relatively stable, they have had to boost his oxygen back to 100% concentration and they have had to change his respirator interface (the part that connects him to the machine) to a different type because they think they may have scratched his throat with the intubation breathing tube. And, because he moves around so much, they have attached his feeding line more securely. But, as bad as all that sounded when I first heard about it, they say that it is not a negative sign. I am trying to stay positive, but not being able to go back and visit him (I have bronchitis and aggravated asthma), it is hard to hear these reports and not worry. Between the worry, the bronchitis (and the coughing that goes with it), and the constant activity of living in a new place I have had almost no rest this weekend. But, I refuse to become too negative. We know that God is in control and will work everything out for Jacob's best.

And, with our wonderful supporters, family, colleagues and friends (I am proud to count my students among those), how can I stay down for too long. Just read some of the comments on this blog. If that doesn't convince you, let me know and I'll forward some the emails I've received (names hidden, of course).

In Sincere Praise and Love,
Terry