Tuesday Night #2

Now, for the stuff that is a little less important to most people, but meaningful to me and, I hope, to God.

I have always believed in Christ and tried my best to follow what I believe he would want me to do. I always knew I wasn't completely hitting the mark, because it's just not possible to be perfect in this room. But, I never quite realized just how short I was falling until I was thrust into this situation. I have probably prayed more in the last two days, and more openly, than I have in the last year. While I always told myself that I wanted God's will for me and my family and friends, it wasn't until yesterday, in the ambulance, that I realized that I had so frequently prayed more for my will. But, in the ambulance, racing down here to Dallas, I begged God for Jacob's life, but gave him complete control of the situation and felt an immediate inner peace.

Of course, I still worry. But, instead of worrying about Jacob getting what is best for him, I worry now about whether I am praying for what I should be praying for and whether I am praying in the right way. Every time I start worrying about that, I remember that God is not looking for formulas, but for sincerity. I have that down. Now, all I have to worry about is whether I am praying for the right thing.

Tuesday night #1

First, the more important information: Update on Jacob

Jacob is still about the same. They have his vitals stabilized with medications. Still on 100% oxygen, 20 ppm nitrous oxide, butamine (sp?), dopamine, potassium, calcium, epinephrine, and Lasix. He's a fighter!

When Teresa (Susan's sister) and I were visiting him and talking to him, he was moving his arms and legs a lot. And, suddenly, he gripped my finger really hard and wouldn't let go. Not sure, but I think he maybe stronger than Matthew was at that age.

It's still a wait and pray time. But, we have more people doing the praying than I could even count. Mostly because there so many that I don't even know.

Our precious bundle begins life, fighting for it

Jacob was born this morning, 3/30/09, at Wilson N Jones in Sherman. Though he came out with some difficulties, he also came out fighting. And, he is still fighting. Last time I visited with the doctor he had almost completely ruled out any heart defects, lung abnormalities, etc. Instead, he was focusing, for tonight, on getting his pulmonary hypertension under control. For those of you who aren't familiar with PH (like me), it was explained like this: When a baby is in the womb, the blood vessels in the lungs are constricted almost completely. Then, when the baby is born and takes that first breath, those vessels relax and allow the blood to flow more freely into and out of the lungs. When a baby is born with PH, the vessels don't relax on that first breath.

So, for right now, that is what Jacob is fighting against. They are giving him oxygen, have him on a ventilator, and are giving him nitrous oxide (to help those blood vessels relax). He is still in critical condition, but is doing better than he was this morning. We will keep watch on him and do all we can to ensure he comes home as soon as possible and in the best possible health.